Recipes In The Imperative

I've seen things found in goat stomachs that have more thematic clarity and a better organizational system than this blog does.
Recent Tweets @
Posts tagged "avengers"

So what have you been up to since New York?

(via contrafuckingband)

Liking both The Avengers and Welcome to Night Vale is problematic because on one hand I want to say “Steeeeeve” with all the loving caresses and cradle him to my bosom and just whisper his name into his ear because he’s a loving little sad panda dreamboat who just waunders around New York looking sad about things, but on the other hand Steve Carlsberg.

Because you mentioned Minecraft how about Steve becoming addicted to Minecraft? Prefer Steve/Tony but gen is cool too.


Tony’s mansion is a lot like what Steve always thought rich people’s houses must look like. He’s got more than enough food, he’s got beds enough so no one has a bunkmate (unless they want one), it’s always as warm as he likes, and there are enough records here to dance until your feet fall off. He and Buck used to play that game, like, what if you were suddenly adopted by Daddy Warbucks and had all the money you could spend. Buck had talked about cars and taking out dames to every nice dance hall they’d ever walked past, and, you know, going to one of those ritzy joints and just eating until he threw up.

Steve had wanted to get a nice place to live. Somewhere with a doorman, maybe, and plenty of space for friends to stay over, and he and Buck could put their feet up, and it wouldn’t much matter that he could whip away in the wind. He’d planned the house, later, out in the field. It was just something nice to think about, planning a house, where the couch would go, and finding a bed big enough for him, and a nice fireplace. Maybe in England if Peggy wanted to live there, he wouldn’t mind, maybe. His name was Captain America, but he wanted to see every single part of the world as well.

"Whaaaat are you, oh why. Why is that all in Java? That is all in Java. Who made this?" Tony said, creeping up behind Steve, because Steve liked to be in the communal area. He wasn’t…good…with having a room all to himself. It’d never happened before it and it felt…weird and echo-y and weird. Not that this game was much better, given that he was the only guy around, but it was a game, and he’d made himself a nice house with all the long-nosed guys and had about twenty cats. He couldn’t get dogs without getting bones from skeletons and he didn’t want to turn the monsters back on, because no. No.

"Oh, it’s one of those games." Steve said. He’d tried to play video games, but he wasn’t always so great at not breaking the controller when he had to press a button too quickly, and the rule was that if you broke the controller, you lost. But this game had looked fun when he stumbled over it. Building things, and the stuff people built was pretty amazing. He was getting the hang of it, slowly, making houses that went from wooden cubes to nice, sprawling kind of houses. And he’d looked up how to make things look like furniture so the floors wouldn’t be so bare. It was still creepy that he was all by himself, though, which felt distant and lonely. You could, somehow, play with other people, but Steve hadn’t figured that out yet. He’d only been playing for…oh. Sixteen hours solid.

How…did that happen?

"Why is everything blocks? Oh! Oh I know this one. It’s uh. Mojang, right." Tony flopped down next to him, as he was given, because Tony either shut himself off from everyone or wanted attention immediately. And Steve had known people like that before. "Mine…craft. Right. Right with the exploding guys."

"Oh, no, I turned those off." Steve said, looking up. "I uh. One exploded and I broke." He rubbed the back of his neck. He could control himself, really, it was just. Well when he got startled he was supposed to attack and hedidattack, but when it was a computer that just kind of. Um. "But I like it this way better."

"Huh. What are those?"

"Villagers. You can trade with them. Aww, come on buddy, I need to get in there." He hopped onto the storage chest and had to physically shove the cat off. He wished you could pick cats up. And name them.

"Wait, are you being bullied by a cat? Why do you have so many cats? Jesus, Cap." Tony looked down. "You built that yourself?"

"Yeah." Steve sprinted until they were up one of his towers so Tony could see it. Nice little house with a garden and picture windows. "The roof is made of stairs." He confided.

"First Thor with the angry birds and you with the Minecraft and Bruce with…actually no. he’s flawless. Bruce is flawless and never has that many cats." Tony threw his arm over his face. "I will never understand the gaming industry."

"Are we getting a cat?" Bruce said, wandering in and cleaning his glasses. "I could go for that."

"What, no? I’m not allowed to have living creatures." Tony stared as Steve went down to the mine and started looking for iron. "This is strangely hypnotic."

"Weren’t you doing this five hours ago?" Bruce leaned over and squinted. "You were doing this five hours ago when I came up for food."

They were quiet for a strangely long moment except for the noises of him mining and picking up blocks. Eventually Tony pointed “Hey look, more of that red stuff.”

"You can make some pretty neat stuff with it. It works like wiring."

And then they had to go back up and build something cool so Tony could see, and about five minutes in he took over and then Steve had a working piston elevator, suddenly, even though he was pretty sure he didn’t have the resources for that. “No, hey we can set up a server, hold on. Bruce you want in on this?”

Which was how they ended up all three playing, which Tony working on some strange contraption of redstone and pistons, Bruce hunting for cats so he could also have cats and Steve adding more beds to the bedroom, which made it look better anyways.


Can I just clear something up? Hawkeye is not just some normal guy with a bow and fancy quiver. He’s not a non-superhero. He has 100% accuracy with any projectile weapon. That is his power. He once escaped prison using fingernail clippings. Just needed to get that out of my system. Carry on.

(via starsick)


Thor and Tony looked lonely. So I drew them some friends. When I’ve got the colors done on this I’ll post them too.

I have strippers on the brain. Star Power, my body-positive erotic comic is nearly at its financial goal! For those who haven’t already heard, I’m doing a body-positive erotic comic told entirely in rhyme! Star Power is the story of two competing strip clubs turned upside down by the sinister Delilah Dragon and her Marvelous Surgery Wagon. THERE ARE ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!

Can we talk about how Black Widow totally pulled one over on a Trickster God?

Can. Can we talk. Can we talk about that?

Read More

I’m sorry, did you say you have Tony Stark!feels and Dummy!Feels and Steve!Feels? I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT HAVING STARKDUMMYROGERS FEELS ARE. I WILL SHOW YOU.

It has the highest concentration of Dummy in a fic than I have previous seen before. And he makes toast. And it is beautiful and you should read it roughly nine times because Dummy tries to steal Fury’s eyepatch for Tony as a present and you can’t beat that. You cannot.